Simon 3

Old Father Tucker

The dirty soul-sucker

Took refuge beaneath his own cross,

His body destroyed,

Condemned to the void,

'Good riddance to that albatross.'

You may remember

Our most evil member,

Along with the gypsy he raped,

Then hung on a spire,

To be set on fire;

A torment she couldn't escape.

Withered and scrawny,

The tortured Romani

Exacted a vengance extreme;

She cursed the whole town

Before sinking down

Boiling the water to steam...

And last but not least, 

Ol' Tucker the Priest

Was brought forth to be put on trial;

With no judge nor jury,

T'was done in a hurry,

And Tucker was gone for awhile.

Till sometime ago,

From way down below

Something disturbs Tucker's rest;

A force of pure wrath;

Complete psychopath,

In whom Father's very impressed.

The subject: a coach

With a softer approach

(Especially with the young teenage girls)

He'd give them his coat,

Then open their throat;

Their death throes his coveted pearls.

But not quite as much

As his personal hutch

Of each victim's last photograph;

The fear in their eyes

The best of the prize:

Pure terror: the best epitaph.

But smart he was not,

For soon he was caught,

And took his life without remorse;

A dangerous glitch 

Forced Tuck to unhitch

And choose someone else as his horse.

The second of merit

Who stood to inherit

The curse of the unholy man

He didn't last long

Thanks to the song

Sung by his least biggest fan.

Of course, we all know

Where that guy would go,

Thanks to the ghost of Collette;

But ghosts aren't Tuck's racket;

He hid in the jacket,

Not to emerge from it yet. 

And then, Marty Bloom,

Headed for doom,

Confessed to his terrible share;

He'd clear lost his mind

When he left life behind,

Strapped in the electric chair.

With all of this rhymin',

I forgot about Simon --

But he's indisposed, so to speak...

The foul stench of death

Makes him hold his breath

A tear staining each dirty cheek.

Don't worry for him,

For his life and limb

Are safe for a stanza or two,

But once that's been done,

Our most evil one

is going to eat Simon, too.

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- © Jackson Cambridge, 2016.