Runt of the Litter/Hunt of the Ritter

Eulogy – Emily Elizabeth Howard, 1963-2017

 

Here lies the body of Emily E --
So tragic and awful -- so pretty was she,
Brimming with kindness, the purest of hearts,
Bright and scholastic, a head full of smarts,
Famous throughout the whole Isle of Birdwell
Right to the day when her life went to hell:
Frail little body left broken and scarred
Found in a hole in the Howard's backyard...

..We gather here now in a sorrowful prayer
For the poor little girl in the grave over there
Remember her fondly, and let not our grief
Cloud our devotion or test our belief;
Make no mistake: Our poor, innocent friend
Fell prey to the demons and met her cruel end --
So let us find courage, my dear synagogue,
And hunt in God's name for that hellish red dog.

----

- © Jack C., 2017.

Seven Sins of Snow White - 02

First, the one with medical degree;

Smarter than the others, thus implied,

Tasked to find the secrets buried deep:

    "Such beauty cannot stand. I order thee,

    Put to work thy science and thy Pride,

    Dissect the little trollop in her sleep."

 

Ordinarily this wouldn't pass,

But pride gives way to hubris, after all;

    As witch peered through her magic looking glass,

    And Snow lay still, a sleeping porcelain doll...

 

Yet just as Doc prepared his evil chore,

A sudden ambush knocked him to the floor.

---

© Jackson Cambridge, 2017.

Friday's Child

Dainty Wednesday Addams
was as pretty as a peach,
Collected sharp and pointy things
Wherever she could reach,
Stored them in a shoebox,
smiling with her perfect teeth,
And left the box to gather dust
till Friday the Thirteenth.

 You see, my little boos and ghouls,
It was a special day:
The anniversary weekend
When her parents went away.
So little Wednesday's noggin
Sat beneath her braided hair,
And thought up dark and twisted things
To do while they weren't there.

 And right away, her little mind
(being somewhat bent)
Began to wonder where on Earth
That awful Pugsley went...
And then she knew the perfect gift
To greet Gomez and Mother,
She'd cook her family dinner:
Roasted Rack of Little Brother.

---
 
- © J. Cambridge, 2017.

Seven Sins of Snow White - 1.5

The briefest note, before the tale's begun
So as to cast our dwarfs in proper light;
No purer group of seven could ye find --
    Resisted all they could (well... all but one),
    Told the gnarly hag to fly a kite,
    But dwarfs aren't quite the magic-wielding kind;
        No sooner were their kindly souls maligned.

 Each one of them'd fall gladly 'pon a sword
Than hurt Snow White -- but to their gruff chagrin,
    The witch's hatred wouldn't be ignored;
    Their purest deeds would turn to acts of sin.

 Obey they would, but with a poisoned heart
(Except the one who tore the rest apart).

 ---

© J. Cambridge, 2017.